Horror Films

"All Cheerleaders Die"
starring: Caitlin Stasey, Sianoa Smit-McPhee, Brooke Butler, Tom Williamson, Amanda Grace Cooper, Reanin Johannink, Nicholas S. Morrison, Sidney Allison
written and directed by: Lucky McKee and Chris Siverston

Here is a horror film that reminded me of the terrible Megan Fox vehicle for objectification called "Jennifer's Body." Like that film, this one is trying to be so much more with so little and it jumps around in several different horror sub genres even with the brief amount of running time given to the story, which itself takes a long time to develop and get going. It's disappointing at every turn. It's basically about a teenage boy who finally loses his virginity to his high school girlfriend, much to the delight of his other high school jock friends. These football players have some kind of unwarranted "beef" with the cheerleading squad, made up of stereotypical "mean" girls. Tragedy strikes one night and all the cheerleaders die, but they end up being brought back to life by another stereotypical character- the outcast, Wiccan girl who's the weirdo, but somehow friends with one of the cheerleaders. The girls come back as vampires, cold (even on the inside, as they spend a few scenes screwing around and one of the boys makes an offhand comment about her vagina being cold- really?!)

The girls refer to themselves as "bitches" and the boys are "dogs" throughout the whole film, and the leader of the wolf pack is a bad dog, having allegedly raped one of the girls last summer and he even punches a cheerleader which starts the whole feud. The writers/directors clearly spent time viewing old high school-type films because there's pieces of "Heathers" and "Mean Girls" mixed in, with lots of shots of the cheerleaders in their underwear, particularly camera-focused shots on their butts. This film seems to be playing out a lot of contradictions within its plot, objectifying these girls. And then there's the vampire metaphor where the girls have a blood lust that they somehow find it necessary to satiate through sex. Cliche.

And then there's the effects, mostly within the sounds of bones crunching and gasping breaths right before death. Not to mention the acting. It seems like everyone just came out of acting class. Everything just seems really fake and/or contrived. This is an utter failure of a film. A bit of a joke, if only they knew we were laughing at them and not with them, because unfortunately, I believe the filmmakers thought they were doing a decent job with a serious film.

It really just comes off as an objectification of these ladies.

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"Hatchet 3"
starring: Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder

All right, first of all, it should be said, I cannot believe they've actually had enough material to turn this cheeky horror film into a trilogy (much less that I've enjoyed watching all three, the first two came during my original blog project, and so I couldn't rightfully and knowingly pass up the chance to watch the third one). It's filled with cartoonish ultra-gore that might make the squeamish a bit ill at ease, but it is so clearly fake that you cannot help but appreciate the ridiculously. It's almost like the film franchise, wow, can't believe I can call it that, would fit perfectly in the Troma film universe.

Danielle Harris is a bad ass chick in this one, not your typical scream queen and she's out for revenge and to finally finish off this Victor Crowley character that has been making her life a living hell. MaryBeth (Harris) battles him and seemingly leaves him for dead right at the beginning, but somehow and inexplicably (until a reporter explains his origins) regenerates while she hightails it to New Orleans for help. No one really believes her, so of course they send in the whole force to investigate.

As seemingly all of New Orleans's law enforcement is systematically slaughtered by the psychotic Crawley, Marybeth teams up with an investigative journalist, Amanda (Caroline Williams), who claims to know the mythic secret to stopping the boogeyman. For a film whose primary objective is filling the screen with as much blood and guts as possible, Hatchet IIIspends an inordinate amount of time foisting proactive-less exposition at audiences, resulting in a jagged pace and much dead air. Worse, when McConnell finally does get around to depicting Crawley's killing spree, the film practically becomes a blur of spatial incoherence.

It's all quite campy, but you can really appreciate a horror film that doesn't take itself seriously- and really how can something like this do that!
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"Wolf Creek 2"
starring: John Jarrett, Ryan Corr, Shannon Ashlyn, Phillippe Klaus, Shane Connor
written and directed by: Greg Mclean

Again, Australian filmmakers get it right when it comes to a horror film, even though director Greg McLean (who also directed the original "Wolf Creek" which is one of my favorite horror films) takes the sequel expectations and rules set for the American horror genre and plays with them for his own sequel: the villain is actually seen in this one and he is certainly a terrible, inhumane person. The bodies pile up and the methods of murder are slightly more graphic and disgusting. But, the filmmaker also gives the story and characters more existential despair. Each doomed character has their own individuality, even though you know that death is inevitable. I think the difference with these "true" stories from outside of America is that the filmmakers really give you a sense of the violation occurring. Life is really being interrupted, especially here and the hero, who originally helps the doomed backpacking couple that meets their demise, ends up on the run from this horrible man out to just ruin people's lives for the sport of it. The murders are unfair, random, and without merit at all. There's no lesson to be learned from these killers, whereas in American horror films, there always seems to be a metaphor or lesson behind the story, if you study it enough.

Mick Taylor (John Jarratt), the once largely unseen killer who stalked the first film's titular Australian tourist destination, has been predictably promoted to the sequel's center ring as a deranged, cackling vaudeville ghoul. We watch as Mick brutally kills an attractive German couple (Phillipe Klaus and Shannon Ashlyn), and then we watch him again as he pursues Paul (Ryan Corr), a British surfer who happens to stumble upon the wrong place at the very wrong time.

When a horror sequel elevates a villain to the status of leading player, it's often at the expense of the humanity of their victims. A Friday the 13th or Saw sequel can't really function if the audience feels the pain of every murder, because the films are meant to resemble game shows: Their characters are poorly behaved contestants who receive fabulously gross comeuppances from leering hosts. They're party movies, superficial gross-outs that thrive on the denial of emotion as well as of any sensation other than a flinch or a gag reflex. There are cheap shocks in Wolf Creek 2. But there are also terrifying moments that poetically command our empathy, such as an image that shows Paul twisting from exhaustion and thirst in a weedy desert field that's lit in hyper-gritty bold yellows that evoke a florid torment reminiscent of Van Gogh.

These are the types of horror films I can get behind and enjoy because they really come off as real. The character evoke sympathy as you view their stories, as their lives unfurl and they have to fight to stay alive. You want  Paul to win. These types of films are made with integrity and I can absolutely appreciate them.
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"Jailbait"
starring: Sara Malakul Lane, Erin O'Brien, Steve Hanks, Jennifer Robyn Jacobs, Samantha Cardona
written and directed by: Jared Cohn

All right, so this isn't really a "horror" film per se, but it does come out of the the catalogue of Asylum films (which is better known for their horror films). Instead, it's a "Woman in Prison" exploitation film, in every sense of the word, trying hard to piggy back off the success of "Orange is the New Black." But it fails miserably. Like, seriously. It's awful. It's an exploitation film, if there ever was one. It is filled with either sex, violence, and nudity to fill a teenage boys wet dreams for a month or two. But because of this, the film is filled with one-dimensional characters (especially the lead girl, Ana Nix, played with all too hard intensity she should have reserved for a different role by Sara Malakul Lane.

Jailbait is the coming of age story of Anna Nix (Sara Malakul Lane). Anna has a rough childhood: her mother’s husband is a drunkard who takes advantage of her every chance he gets. One day, Anna has enough, and he mounts her, she kicks him off. He falls backward into an object, and is killed. Because we are in the world of an exploitation film, Anna gets sentenced to a maximum-security juvenile detention center for 4-9 years. Really?! 

The juvenile center is where meet the real cast of characters that drive the story. Anna tries to keep to herself, but she’s way too cute for that. Kody (Erin O’Brien), the leader of the Low Riders gang, takes a particular interest in Anna. She gives her an ultimatum: join her gang, or get her butt kicked. As the story progresses, Anna encounters a number of different characters that lead her to make some decisions she may later regret.

When Sara Malakul Lane is not trying to act like a bad ass, she is quite good. She plays the vulnerable, emotional scenes well. It’s when she goes to fight that she loses some of her power. Opposite her, playing the antagonist of the film, is Warden Frank Baragan, played by Steve Hanks. He plays the sleazy Warden as the stereotypical, one-dimensional bad guy that one expects in a movie like this. 

The movie is filled with lesbian sex scenes, nudity, and gang fights. The first two in that list are a lot more enjoyable to watch than the last one, as a lot of the fighting looks fake. As a result, the choreographed fights look just that: choreographed. That is never a good thing as it takes away from the realism of the film.

As an exploitation film, Jailbait excels. It spends a lot of time setting up sex scenes, and allows the viewer to indulge in a ton of nudity. What Jailbait is not, though, is a human story. The characters lacks depth, and everything that you expect to happen does happen.

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"13 Sins"
starring: Mark Webber, Devon Graye, Tom Bower, Rutina Wesley, Ron Pearlman
written and directed by: Daniel Stamm

Remember what I said about horror films nowadays coming off more like gameshows where the contestants have acted bad and must make up for their bad behavior with perhaps the worst kind of detention? Well, "13 Sins" is actually exactly that! Go figure. Maybe it's the filmmaker realizing what horror films have become, but I tend to not think he is that smart. I think he's just cashing in on a genre that is in serious need of a kick in the butt or total reboot.

Main character, Elliot (Mark Webber), is put through an escalating psychological ringer as a means to unleash not so much the killer inside him as the petulant troublemaker fed up with his place in an economically uncertain world. A hapless sales rep who's fired prior to his wedding to his pregnant girlfriend (Rutina Wesley) and who regularly cares for his mentally challenged brother (Devon Graye) and ill, racist father (Tom Bower), he's consciously set up as a pushover and too ethical for his job. He'd rather cower in a corner than stand up and shout, and that's when fate, functioning as a litmus test of Elliot's self-reliance, literally calls on him by phone. A mysterious benefactor promises an instant bank deposit of a thousand bucks if he kills a fly, and the dead-broke Elliot, feeling as if he's out of options, obliges. The stakes, as they must, intensify, and Elliot is ultimately offered a grand total of $6.2 million dollars if he completes 13 tasks. It's his last worst chance.

Initially these tasks are blackly comic, such as Elliot being called on to momentarily recreateWeekend at Bernie's, before giving way to the pointedly relevant, such as his coming face to face with an old high school bully. This would suggest the game's overriding point is holding the man up to the mirror, to reflect on what has delivered him to this do-or-die moment. Its concluding coincidences are the artificial conflict that passes for the wrap-up of any game rather than Elliot squaring with his past and present. The twists spur him to the end point, but all meaning becomes lost in the maze.

The whole film is a bit of a disappointment and is clearly trying to slowly cruise on the "Saw" franchise's obstacles of terror, except nothing in this film is really terrifying. It almost doesn't really classify as a horror film. I guess, it would be a better fit for the thriller genre, except it's not much of a thriller. Everything you expect to happen, really does. Even the twist isn't much of a twist. It's all just a waste of time, so if you have an hour and a half to kill, figuratively, of course, be my guest, but otherwise just avoid this one.
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"The House of the Devil"
starring: Jocelin Donahue, Tom Noonan, Mary Woronov, Greta Gerwig, AJ Bowen
written and directed by: Ti West

This is perhaps one of my favorite, recent (2009) horror films because it is suspenseful and really takes its time. Really, there's no "action" in the horror-film sense that most, typical audiences beg for, you know with the instant gratification of seeing some bloody murders. Instead, filmmaker Ti West really makes you invest in the characters and forces you to trust him that the pay-off will be worth it by the end. And he succeeds, beautifully. You can tell the filmmaker is a student of Hitchcock films, you know where the build-up of the suspense is what the majority of the film focuses on. It's about the anticipation, not the happening, that's the fun of the film. This should happen more often because it helps develop the characters and as a viewer you really feel like you get to know them, which makes them more sympathetic.

Sam (Donahue) is a perky college student looking to make some money so that she can put a deposit down on an apartment she views and really likes at the beginning of the film. Great start. She wants to babysit, because let's face it, thanks to Jamie Lee Curtis, babysitting gigs have become to perfect vehicle for any female lead in a horror film. And that is a fact not lost on Ti West. The filmmaker even makes it a point to present the film to us in an old-fashioned 1980s look and feel to it, starting with the opening credits, the soundtrack and everything else. This babysitting gig is how she meets Mr. and Mrs. Ulman, who live in a large, mysterious house way, way out of the way of civilization, at the end of a long, long dirt road in the middle of a dark, dark forest. Get it? The babysitting gig isn't necessarily a typical one, because it doesn't involve children, instead, the Ulman's have hired Sam to look after their mysterious old mother, who is upstairs somewhere, kind of in the same way Norma Bates has stored his own mother away.

The creepy married couple leaves to view the eclipse away from the forest, which gives Same ample opportunity to poke around the large, mysterious house. She hears noise upstairs and it's really in the last 20-25 minutes that everything comes unraveling for Sam and the horror picks up. I won't ruin it for you, other than to say you should refer back to the film's title if you want to figure it out on your own. This film is definitely worth your time. It's fantastic!

You definitely should take the time to watch this one, maybe even at night, in a dark, dark room, lit only by the moon! Just saying.