Notes from a Genius

I know it seems like a cheap shot to anyone experience strife, but I am very happy with life and the choices I've made after recognizing changes that needed to be made. I've found a home/center: professionally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally- after feeling "lost" for few months. It's nice to be on top again.  This was a recent Facebook post of mine. I went through some hard stuff a few months ago, mostly involving a relationship and a sense of identity. I can gladly say that I feel grounded and like I've found myself again. It helps to be living in such a wonderful city. I have often said that Portland, ME is a "hidden gem" among larger cities in America. There is so much to do on any given day/night. Places I've found myself frequenting since moving: 1) Local Sprouts 2) Empire 3) The Big Easy 4) State Theatre 5) SPACE Gallery I've done a few monthly staples as well: 1) Greendrinks 2) First Friday 3) Clash of...

I love my job! I think very few people can say that. And. Mean it. I wholeheartedly love everything about my job. As I stated before, there are many ups and downs, throughout the day, throughout the week, throughout the month, and yes, of course, throughout the year. I can remember two summers back, I applied for teaching jobs in Old Orchard Beach/Saco. I didn't get a call for an interview until close to the end of the summer. And it was not an ordinary interview, which I believe I'd gotten very familiar with (the entire process) after going on at least 30 over the past 3 years. (I know I should count myself lucky for just getting my foot in the very, very competitive door of education, especially in this day and age, with the economy in the tank and education budget cuts seemingly the first thing to get slashed.) I've learned how to market myself, while never losing the sense of who I am, personality-wise as well as my professional beliefs (never sugar-coating things f...

I started meditating back in September (and I know it seems trite to say that just in the past 4 months my life has changed by it, but a lot can be said for finding some grounding). Although, I thought I'd had my life figured out and was finally in a relationship that I had longed to be in, when the relationship ended I realized a lot about myself, but I think the most crucial point was that even though I learned a lot about myself from that relationship and its demise, I also learned that there was so much more to learn about myself. So, it was August when the relationship ended, but like most people, I went through stages and for a month I believed that I could do something to change her mind, that we would end up back together. That stage was denial. And what I learned about myself, as I retraced my steps was that I had a tendency to do that with relationships...beloieve in something that could never be, because there was someone else involved. I could not change someone else...

As I promised myself, this blog/project would not run my life (so to speak, although, I think it would be really cool to have this goal that I set for myself actually met by the end of the year, because I bet a lot of people are wondering just how faithful I will keep at it; I have discovered that in order to meet the goal, I should try to stay a couple movies ahead of myself, even if that means not necessarily writing about them, but keeping up enough to keep them fresh in my mind- we know all my mind works overtime quite often). It's been really busy these past few days. I've had a chance to visit with friends and family, as well as get over the nasty "flu" that I think I caught from every single one of my students. I laid low for an entire 2 weeks, really, which I think helped (I actually made responsible adult decisions to just go to bed instead of going out late at night). Saturday, I got to hang out with my great friend, Vanessa, and her wonderful family (tw...

Everyone has an interesting family. Everyone has family stories. Everyone has a history. Everyone is trying to figure their own shit out. And I've never been one to talk about my own family very much. Not until now, when I figured the best avenue to speak of them would be through a public forum such as a blog. We've never been that close as an entire unit. Yes, my dad and I are close (always have been, I guess you could say, based on the stories I've already shared, but I would say we didn't truly become close until I was an adult and we were in separate houses; the same could be said for the relationship I have with my sister- we didn't become close until she was in college; and my mother and I have never really been close, by my standards, then she left our family when I was 16, going on 17, and I held a grudge against her for the decisions she made for approximately 8 years). A lot happened to lead me to that decision to cut ties with my mother, and I know I ...

It was February 1995, I'd already missed the heyday of Saturday Night Live (the era of Chris Farley, David Spade, Adam Sandler, et al) and I was an equally obnoxious and naive 8th grader. I was causing enough trouble to be a pain-in-the-ass to both parents. My mother was reaching her limit on what she could take from me, but my dad was taking it on the chin. "He's just being a 'normal' teenage boy," he kept repeated to my mother. No need to worry. I think he knew a little better than her, since he was also a teenage boy, once. I remember 1995 vividly for a couple of reasons: (1) I had been causing a lot of trouble for myself and others at Holy Cross Junior High, culminating in a fight in late October which got me suspended for 3 days, at the end of which it was determined that it was in everyone's best interest if I transferred to another school. My parents agreed, but I still had a good couple of weeks before I could transfer, so of course, with the kn...

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." I put this quote at the beginning because it seems to be the driving force behind the story in "Pulp Fiction" which is easily one of the best Q.T. films, which is actually quite a feat, because although I find Tarantino to be one of the most pompous, pretentious asshole-hipsters in Hollywood, who tries a bit too hard to not be so Hollywood, I cannot deny his talent as a filmmaker, but mostly as a writer. Even with just his second film out of the gate, it could not be deni...

This damn flu has sidelined me rather hard for the past 3 days from "existing" past any sort of facade. I truly haven't felt myself all week, but I've tried hard to put on a good face everyday. I feel bad, because I know my normal threshold of patience was pretty thin all week. I haven't felt like doing much of anything the past few days other than curling up and sleeping. And the irony in that being I haven't really slept much at all, which hasn't helped me get over this flu virus. Waking up at 3:30 or 4 every morning for the past 3 days hasn't been much fun. Although I had the flu, I still kept with my schedule of 1 movie per night. I decided to tackle the latest versions of Bond films (you know, the ones that got flack for having Daniel Craig in the title role when it was first announced). I grew up in the age of Pierce Bronson as the Lothario know as James Bond, the guy who seemed to be more obsessed with bedding as many women as possible in th...

Here's My Morning Playlist. We all know good music can help get us up and ready for the day. Notice the explicit inclusion of a few pop songs, because I've always found certain songs quite catchy. A SIDE------------  Pearl Jam- Arc  Tool- Lateralus  Lana Del Ray- Ride  Regina Spektor- Fidelity  A Fine Frenzy- Now Is the Start  Feist- 1234  Mariah Carey- Always Be My Baby  Bruno Mars- Marry You  Colbie Caillat- I Do  Matchbox Twenty- If You're Gone  Pearl Jam- Just Breathe  Taylor Swift- Begin Again  The Beatles- Happiness Is a Warm Gun  Slipknot- Snuff  Neil Young- Unknown Legend  Bon Iver- Holocene  A Perfect Circle- 3 Libras  B SIDE----------- Coheed and Cambria- Welcome Home Circa Survive- Get Out Journey- Don't Stop Believin' Vampire Weekend- A-Punk Billy Joel- Uptown Girl She and Him- Why Do You Let Me Stay Here Ellie Goulding- I Know You Care Bob Dylan- Forever Y...

I'm sitting here, with my dad, at his beautiful home in Kennebunk, watching the New England Patriots playoff game thinking a few things: 1. Football viewing has been our tradition for the past 13 years. It's strange to me for these reasons (a) I never played football growing up, so I'm not sure where my love for it stemmed from, I mean, I remember vaguely watching it as a kid, but not as devotedly as I (we) do now (b) I grew up in Lewiston, Maine so I was pretty much born with a hockey stick and skates, even though neither of my parents were athletic themselves, again I don't really know where my love of sports comes from, am I biological inclined to be attracted to them because I was born a boy? I don't know. Sometimes I wish I was born to be musically inclined, instead. Although, neither abilities would have helped me with girls- Maybe I should have wished for more confidence and courage, like the lion (c) baseball is supposed to be America's pastime, but, I...

Before I venture into a discussion about the controversial Q.T. film "Django Unchained," I've done some more reflecting and thinking about the previous post and I felt a need to dive further into the subject at hand.  I feel like perhaps my opinion on addiction was lacking substances due to the fact that the person in question that I was in a relationship with was coming out of the spiral of a 5 year (but honestly much longer) addiction to drugs where she was involved in a very co-dependent relationship with another drug addict, which create a laundry list of emotional, mental and even physical issues for her. But, being the genuine nice guy (type-cast I've been okay with having my entire life, but which has actually found me in similar situations throughout my adult life, not so heavy as drug addiction, but more of the hero/savior role), I felt it was unfair how I was being treated because of past "trauma" she had endured from other guys.  We talked....

I watched this unbelievable film a couple of days ago (for the 4th or 5th time), but to be honest I've been putting off writing about it, because although the story itself is not what I connected with, I couldn't help being branded by Ann Hathaway's character Kym and it left me thinking that I've had the experience now of knowing someone like her.  You see, she plays the family black sheep, but more specifically, she plays an addict and from my experience of knowing an addict, I think she played it extremely well. There is something within the personality of an addict that makes you love and hate them, that makes you want to please them, but also say "Get your shit together!" and give them a hug, but also shake them.  I was recently with someone with an addict personality, who was extremely open about her past, to the point where I felt I did not need to know some of the things she told. But what she lied about was the underlying that she was indeed an add...

"Rabbit Hole" is a film from 2010, based on a play of the same name. Seeing the film really made me want to see the play because I bet it is a true tearjerker. This is a story about loss, acceptance, change and emotion. We meet a couple (Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart, both superb) 8 months after their son has died after getting hit by a car. Right from the beginning you can tell that their relationship is void of emotion, although they are both trying to live their lives, I believe they think they really cannot do this. They speak to each other, but it's like nothing is being said, or at least they just are hearing each other because they are on different levels. The husband seems to want to move on, with conflicting scenes because he also does not want to seem to let go of his son (or the memory of him, to be more exact, which probably has something to do with the level of denial he is in through the entire film, until the last act)... In fact until the last act th...