Two Poems About Loss

"Wallpaper Cover-Up"

Alone, contemplating in a dark room
All that matters is gray
All I am is grey matter

 Cover my eyes with unwashed hair
Dirtied hands
Block noises of past lovers' voices
Heard through yellowed walls
On to new endeavors
Forgetting old transgressions
Chalked up to outlines
Of mistakes
I knew you knew you were making

 Her last words ring in my ears
"It would have never lasted"
Piercing eardrums
Better for never hearing
The truth is 
It would have never worked out 
If you think that we could work out 
The differences
You hid behind
Were your calloused alibis 
"Untold (Love) Story...You Told All Wrong"

 To hear her retelling
Of our tragic love story 
Details strategically omitted 
Make her out to be 
The victim-the queen 

 Is like jumping from a plane
Without the ripcord
To the parachute
Which will save my life

 Left suspended in mid-air
Like our romance
Long enough to appreciate
The beauty above and below

 Her filtered story 
Leaves the sensation of drowning
Without the pleasure of dying
Once I taste the salt water 
Cascading in my mouth
And she knows 
I can't breathe underwater
Yet, she holds my head down 

 When words got in the way
They blocked our view

Pages of our history 
Stuck together
Tearing them apart
Would only erase important words
Used to tell a tragic love story 

 Better left in my memory
Unsaid

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