I'm Back

Parenthetical References to Quintessential Footnotes in the Understanding of Literature Based on Fact as Told Through Fiction

She said,
“I just want to be loved”
But I knew
She just wanted to be written about
To have words immortalize her essence
To tell she had a presence
Once, in my life

Her tranquility was as dangerous as her vitality
Yet, here I am
Putting pen to paper
Forming words from letters
That I wished I’d never written
And the words turn to sentences
To fill a void
She left when she left
Me
With a crack in the armor
Used to protect my heart
From girls
The likes of her
The world over

Now I know what it’s like
To be the victim of her bed
And the false bravado of her manners
When we had laid beside each other

I can’t get her delicate features
Out of my head
Such a ravenous creature
I can still feel the contortion of her muscles
As she jockeyed for the right position
With a hint of sweat glistening off her chest
When we were skin to skin
And she let me in
Her eyes lit up from the delicacy of our sin

Now I only want to get the memory of her
Erased
From my mind, and replaced
With better images in the back of my eyelids
When I close them to sleep
I cannot help, but weep
With the faux sincerity she let me keep
Only as a minor distraction
I was a pawn in her need for company
As she bit my lower lip
And coaxed a ride out of me
Back home
So she could lie beside her true love
Waits

The clock strikes 12:03
She bolts from my warm mattress
Only half-dressed
Her hair a tussled mess
Like Cinderella
Afraid to miss the boat
Afraid to be seen in true light
And not the dim overhead carriage of the bar

If only she knew
How I felt
She could have stayed
But her phone rang
And from my arms she sprang
Leaving the ghost of a memory of such a good thing
Her line was well-though-out
And rolled from her lips so quick
Leaving me with no chance to respond
No last chance for a slow dance
We had our fun between the sheets
And she left, saying,
“Just remember me as I am tonight.”

I was left to clutch the bed sheets
Covering my shame
And the game
Of being needed
For something more
Little did I know her plan of
Use once and destroy
Like an atom bomb tested in a deserted field
The remnants of which are left
Discovered beneath years later through built up rubble

So he said,
“If only to kiss those weighted lips
One last time.”

Instead, I am left with the heavy burden
Of what she meant when she said,
“Goodbye”

What never was
What will never be
Weighing heavy on my mind