I Swear I'm Okay

To a Girl Unworthy of the Time It Took to Write This Letter and Who Needs the Space It Takes

My life is shit
No matter how hard I try
To deny

The pieces you tore apart
Will no longer fit inside

You left me sullen
Unable to cry
Alone and helpless
Misrepresented
Misinterpreted
All that you said
Told your lies
You tried to deconstruct me
But I’d never let you
Near this heart
Well, that’s a lie
I tell myself to forget
And make it through to the next day
When opportunity knocks
With every whisper
Try as I may
Loving you will only bring dismay
Your absence sets my heart into decay
Watch the pieces crumble
Watch the pieces fall
I stand here, humbled
I would never make you crawl

It took you
To make me realize
I am everything I despise
And it’s all because of you
And everything I pretend to do

Only after everything is done
Can I realize
I hate all that you’ve made me
And all that I have
Turns me into what we hate
I am at my best
When I see you with the rest
I don’t want what you need
What they all call “a nest”

I need room to grow
I need room to boost
What do I have to offer
If you’ve turned me into all the rest

Where have all the good boys gone
Since they realized your mistakes
You’ve taken my fall from grace
Nobody can change
If change happens within myself
I cannot be shown the past
If it doesn’t matter
If it doesn’t last
With all I could have been
Turned into should have been

If sinning is what we do
Won’t you be my soul’s guide, tonight
I have nothing left to win
And you have everything to lose

Throw your thorns my way
So I can show you what it’s like to bleed
My eyes are full of regret
Full of your deceit
Like a mirror, I can see
Or maybe it’s those tears you made me cry

Come on, darling,
Come on back to bed
I need your warm body next to mine
To fill this empty space
To prove to me
You’re not just a vision I see
Appear inside my head

But I’m all alone is this world
I’ve grown to despise
Loving you only brings heartache and pain
Leads to my utter demise

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