Notes from a Genius

I find myself enamored with two different girls at the moment. One I told I really liked and now she seems to be playing her "taking it easy" card. We talk, we make plans, but everything seems to be on her terms. The other girl, I don't think realizes I have found myself thinking about her, wanting to spend more and more time with her. We started hanging out when I moved to Portland, under the guise that I was looking to build a foundation of a circle of friends. Then I began to realize we have a lot in common. And that she's a great girl that I kind of want to see where things go. But like in typical Sean Fashion-- my nerves make me afraid to speak what's on my mind, for fear of rejection, for fear of screwing up a good thing right now with a good friend. So what do to? Bite my tongue and fight off unrequited love yet again? Or speak now? I wish Taylor Swift didn't seem to be singing directly to me, and that her lyrical content wasn't a transcript of my l...

I'm fairly certain a lot has happened since the last time. I'll try my best to recap for your benefit. So, I've been a member of okcupid.com for a couple of years now, but living in Lewiston, options were quite limited in terms of meeting a gamut of ladies to whet my appetite. Now that I'm in Portland things have been going much better and I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I use the internet to meet people. I'm a technology-born and raised kid, anyway. It's how we've grown to communicate. And I'm not one to frequent bars and hit on drunk girls. I guess the romantic in me is looking for something that will last. I've never been the type to be fulfilled by the one-night stand thing. Although, I've found myself wishing and/or living vicariously through stories I may have heard or read about. Part of me wishes I could think and live that way, but the more morally-based part of me just doesn't find it to be as rewarding. I enjoy getting to ...

So, I went to Sheryl Crow last night, and I know what everyone is thinking "lame!" but as a music fan I consider her to be extremely influential to female singer-songwriters and I'd encourage anyone to find a better songwriter these days. I mean, "Strong Enough" is one of the greatest songs of ALL TIME. Yup! It's one of those songs I consider to be too short, like, when it's over, you are begging for one more verse-chorus. Something more. Setlist: Our Love Is Fading A Change Would Do You Good Eye To Eye 100 Miles From Memphis Can’t Cry Anymore Say What You Want Strong Enough Long Road Home My Favorite Mistake Summer Day Sign Your Name (Terence Trent D’Arby cover) Everyday Is A Winding Road Sideways (Citzen Cope cover) Stop Roses and Moonlight If It Makes You Happy Soak Up The Sun All I Wanna Do I Want You Back (Jackson 5 cover) Peaceful Feeling

I don't think I've gone out with as many different girls as I have since recently moving to Portland. It's been about a month and the tally's at 3. And hey that's a lot for me! I've been talking to quite a few, building what I call a foundation, I suppose, to see where each one could possibly lead. It's nice to see the differences and see the instant connection, perhaps, if not, they sometimes I lose interest pretty quickly. I have a short attention span I guess. I don't know what it is. Maybe I know exactly what I'm looking for and haven't found it yet. Or maybe I just have really, really high fucking standards. I'm still trying to figure it out. Well, so I went out to Empire Thursday night with the aforementioned girl from my previous post- the one I met at a bar. We really hit it off, I think. We went to see the Fog Cutters, swing dancing band, of which my buddy Brian happens to play in. This girl and I ended up hanging out in the bar down...

I want to hold. And be held in return. I moved from Lewiston after 10 years of living on my own, in my own apartment, feeling like that well had run dry in so many metaphorical aspects. Not to belittle Lewiston, I mean, it is my hometown, and I know there are great people there-- but in terms of finding "someone" to be with and share the aforementioned statement...No thank you. Not much for choices. Portland on the other hand. It seems everywhere I look-- and I look around A LOT-- there are beautiful girls/women/ladies. I was out last night, again. I know I know, people that know me are thinking "what a complete 360 this dude has done in the past 2 weeks!" Well, perhaps it's true. Or perhaps it's the fact that there are so many more options in Portland and I just want to get the fuck out. I don't want to be hanging out in my apartment all the time. This is a conscience change for me, alhtough I do still enjoy "me" time. I want to explore. I wan...

I've had to explain my tattoos twice this weekend. Not that I mind. Friday night it was amongst girls and they found my explanation/story behind both sleeves interesting/intriguing/insightful and wondered aloud why more guys couldn't/wouldn't think like I do. I thought that was interesting. And then today, while working at the gym (Planet Fitness), an old man came up to the desk after working out and said the following: "Do you mind if I ask you something? And I hope you don't get offended." "Sure." "I saw your tattoos and I was just wondering why? What would compel you to do that? Is it some kind of macho-thing? I'm just wondering." (Yeah, why would I get offended? Right? I suppose it's all in the delivery. But, again, me being me, it takes a lot more to offend me. In fact I don't think it's possible to offend me.) My reply. "It's certainly not a macho-thing. Everyone who knows me can certify that I am the least ma...

Oh yeah, also, I have a tendency to hang out at Panera Bread to use their WIFI, it's free and I'm cheap. I've yet to purchase internet or cable at my apartment and I really don't want to. Plus, I love people watching, so going there is great. I sit in the corner and watch the people come and go (and I must say, attractive women/girls tend to frequent this place often). Well, I was hanging out there today again and Brian Yocono from Channel 6 came in. We have a "history" that goes back from last year. I was featured in the Sun Journal last year for a project I did with my 1st grade class and he had recognized me at the gym (we both went to Planet Fitness) from being in the newspaper. At the time, I honestly was not sure if he really was the guy from the News, so I didn't say anything, and honestly I was too busy deflated my head from being "recognized"-- when really I should be used to it by now. I mean, I carry LEGENDARY status around Lewiston/Au...