Two Horrible and Avoidable Films
"Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters"
starring: Jeremy Renner, Emma Arterton, Famke Janssen
written and directed by: Tommy Wirkola
produced by: Will Ferrell (?!)
Let's be completely honest with this film. You know exactly what you're getting when you start watching this one. It's a completely lame attempt to redo a Brother's Grimm fairy tale-esque story about the brother and sister duo, Hansel and Gretel, except now they are grown ups who are in the witch hunting business. Way to go Hollywood, privatize and captialize! Except, this film is all kinds of awful from the very beginning. But, shame on you for expecting anything more. Jeremy Renner should have fired his agent or manager the second he saw the final project, but then again, if he reads scripts, I think maybe he should go back to grade school and learn about what makes for a decent, worthwhile story. So, maybe this is his fault, when you're only considering a quick paycheck. Gemma Arterton, who has shown acting potential with such films in her catalogue as "Quantum of Solace" and "Unfinished Song" but she seems to pick losers more often in her young career (re: "Hansel and Gretel," "Prince of Persia" and "Clash of the Titans" reboot).
Skip this one and never look back.
....................................................................................................
"Tamara"
starring: Jenna Dewan-Tatum, Chad Faust, Matthew Marsden, Claudette Mink
Written by the "Final Destination" guy, this is a clear and pure knock-off of the 1970s horror film, "Carrie," which was unbelievable on its own and did not need an homage or knock-off at all.
Tamara (played by Channing Tatum's now-wife, Jenna Dewan-Tatum- I have to be honest, I had no idea he was married, and to his "Step Up" costar no less) starts off as an "ugly duckling" sort of girl who is down with the black-arts of Wicca, but at the same time, she is that shy girl who pines after her English teacher (Marsden). Tamara is constantly made fun off, by the same, predictable, in-crowd of jocks and their annoying girlfriends. They set out to prank Tamara by using her crush on the English teacher. This cruel prank goes awry in the hotel room they rent out and have their fun in. Tamara ends up dead. But, alas, she rises from the grave, a glossed and made up beautiful girl who dons a black miniskirt and push-up bra, not to mention her tight shirt.
She sets out to avenge her own death and kill them all one by one.
The acting is mild and wildly off-course throughout the entire film.
The one thing it's got going for it is the fact that it does not solely rely on blood and guts in Tamara's revenge fits, even though it is very predictable, the script hints at making Tamara and her emo-punk friend Chloe appear human and somewhat relatable.
It's a failure, though, on every end.
starring: Jeremy Renner, Emma Arterton, Famke Janssen
written and directed by: Tommy Wirkola
produced by: Will Ferrell (?!)
Let's be completely honest with this film. You know exactly what you're getting when you start watching this one. It's a completely lame attempt to redo a Brother's Grimm fairy tale-esque story about the brother and sister duo, Hansel and Gretel, except now they are grown ups who are in the witch hunting business. Way to go Hollywood, privatize and captialize! Except, this film is all kinds of awful from the very beginning. But, shame on you for expecting anything more. Jeremy Renner should have fired his agent or manager the second he saw the final project, but then again, if he reads scripts, I think maybe he should go back to grade school and learn about what makes for a decent, worthwhile story. So, maybe this is his fault, when you're only considering a quick paycheck. Gemma Arterton, who has shown acting potential with such films in her catalogue as "Quantum of Solace" and "Unfinished Song" but she seems to pick losers more often in her young career (re: "Hansel and Gretel," "Prince of Persia" and "Clash of the Titans" reboot).
Skip this one and never look back.
....................................................................................................
"Tamara"
starring: Jenna Dewan-Tatum, Chad Faust, Matthew Marsden, Claudette Mink
Written by the "Final Destination" guy, this is a clear and pure knock-off of the 1970s horror film, "Carrie," which was unbelievable on its own and did not need an homage or knock-off at all.
Tamara (played by Channing Tatum's now-wife, Jenna Dewan-Tatum- I have to be honest, I had no idea he was married, and to his "Step Up" costar no less) starts off as an "ugly duckling" sort of girl who is down with the black-arts of Wicca, but at the same time, she is that shy girl who pines after her English teacher (Marsden). Tamara is constantly made fun off, by the same, predictable, in-crowd of jocks and their annoying girlfriends. They set out to prank Tamara by using her crush on the English teacher. This cruel prank goes awry in the hotel room they rent out and have their fun in. Tamara ends up dead. But, alas, she rises from the grave, a glossed and made up beautiful girl who dons a black miniskirt and push-up bra, not to mention her tight shirt.
She sets out to avenge her own death and kill them all one by one.
The acting is mild and wildly off-course throughout the entire film.
The one thing it's got going for it is the fact that it does not solely rely on blood and guts in Tamara's revenge fits, even though it is very predictable, the script hints at making Tamara and her emo-punk friend Chloe appear human and somewhat relatable.
It's a failure, though, on every end.
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