Notes from a Genius

It's fun to know that my facial hair has become a topic of discussion among those around me. I'm not one to shy away from the attention, some might say, and I usually grow my facial hair as an attempt to become the topic of discussion for people. It's weird because, if people are looking at me, I get self-conscious, like "what? do I have a booger or something?" but I do enjoy attention...if I create it for myself. My appearance or how I act is usually how I create it. And I couldn't exactly grow facial hair until I was probably 23 or 24 years old. In high school I heard comments about my "peach fuzz" while other guys at school had 5 o'clock shadows by noon. Anyway, I will admit, my beard is becoming slightly unkempt, but I enjoy it. I feel like, if you're going to grow a beard, you should just let it grow naturally. No, "man-scaping." Besides, the idea of a beard is anti-maintenance. I've decided to "give back" a bit.

Who would have thought over 13 years ago that I would be where I am today. In high school I was positioning myself to never enter another formal education setting. I had decided once I'd graduated from high school that I would be done with my education, that I'd gotten all I wanted out of it. I was someone who hated being told what I should study, what I should why, and why it was important. Let me decide for myself, I thought. I hated school. I found it dull, learning inside a box. I never considered myself an inside-the-box thinker. In fact, I resented it. So, once I graduated I decided to "take a year off" to figure things out, to figure out exactly what I wanted in life, what I wanted to be. It was an important year in my life. I was working at a record store, thinking life doesn't get any better than listening to music all the time and getting free music once a week and going to as many shows as I wanted (sometimes for free). It seemed immature, but in actua

"Down to the Bone" (staring Vera Farmiga) is a film that deals with a very heavy theme/subject matter. It's a film that cannot be ignored though since it is very real. This is one of the reasons why I love independent films. The characters seem more real. Their pain is transferable. And you hope they learn something. Here Vera Farmiga plays a woman, Irene, "trapped" in a loveless and sexless marriage (at least on her end of it, because her husband very clearly still cares about her) with two young boys. She plays Irene so well that now I am wondering why she wasn't up for any kind of awards when it came out. She embodies the washed-up, beaten-down, but mostly utterly fatigued and empty of her character. I could not help but recognize the vacancy in her eyes, perhaps because of her obvious years of drug use. Her eyes tell her entire story throughout this film, although she is physically present in every situation, you can tell she is gone, mentally. Many of

I'm going to start off my saying that I know I should've like "Scarface" more than I actually did, since it's been named one of the best movies of the 20th century. I'm not exactly sure why I didn't like it. Maybe it was because the film seemed to drag on for almost 3 hours, and most of the story didn't entice me enough to care what was happening. Maybe it was because this is a controversial film from 1983 (and I say controversial because of the time it came out and the amount of violence and course language that was used throughout the film), but let's be honest, now it's 2013 and perhaps I've been desensitized to violence and foul language, but it honestly seemed mild to the now 30 years of films that have been able to up the ante (and I can appreciate "Scarface" and Brian De Palma and Oliver Stone for preparing our society). The music used as the soundtrack seemed very cliche, very "Miami Vice" if you know what I mean

It's been since Valentine's Day since I last posted, which reminded me about last year's Valentine's Day and how much has changed (in my life and within me) in just over one year. I was with a girl last year on Valentine's Day whom I thought would complete the end of my searching for a "soul mate" and we quickly moved in together (by March) and things went downhill from there rather quickly, too. There were many red flags that I chose to ignore, least of which being even on Valentine's Day she had a way of turning the tables and making me feel like such a bad guy. Yes, I had designed and expected the night to go a certain way (because I can be somewhat of a planner) and when it started going "wrong" I got upset, but then the icing on the cake was how a casual conversation about her job quickly went south because of our differences of opinion (which seemed to happen quite a bit as I looked back on the 9 month relationship as a whole). We were

After the snow storm, I was lucky enough to play in a pond hockey tournament up in China, ME with a buddy of mine and a few of his friends. It was a blast, playing hockey outdoors all day, but I quickly realized I'm slightly out of shape in terms of my endurance. Still had fun. I get to see this buddy of mine every so often, since we live about an hour away from each other and have crazy schedules. I met him on a baseball trip I took through my college a few years ago (well, I took the trip 5 times, one of those courses you couldn't fail!) and we bonded over our mutual love for all things Pearl Jam and Eddie Vedder. We were actually roommates on the trip, too. We've been friends ever since. I was even invited/went to their wedding about 3 years ago (didn't even think they'd remember, but they did). Monday night I had dinner and quality time with two great college friends of mine. It's amazing to me, thinking about the friends I've made/kept throughout my l

Being snowed in for a couple of days has allowed me to get ahead in my big-little project. First up. "A Time to Kill" which was directed by Joel Schumacher, who's had some noticeably terrible misses when it comes to his films (Batman and Robin, anyone? or how about Phone Booth?), so perhaps it is without coincidence that my favorites of his happen to both be adaptations of John Grisham books (The Client was stellar and only a couple years prior to this one) and the fact that Grisham had a large hand in controlling the adaptations of his books to the screen may have something to do with their successful retelling. It is a well-done play on morality that pushes buttons (racism in the South) and forces you to think (ends justify the means? eye for an eye?). Justice. That's all Samuel L. Jackson's character wanted. He he took it into his own hands. What ensues is the trial for his life. One of the major setbacks to the screen adaptation of "A Time to Kill&q

Last night I went to the Portland Public Library. An old high school friend co-moderated a small "public forum" on the debate of Gun Control, which has become quite a prominent issue these days since there have been several shootings of unmitigated circumstance. This is becoming quite a topic of discussion, much like many discussions after tragic events (people want to talk and change things after the fact, it seems). It was a great open-format, civil discussion (and the first one I ever attended). When I go to things like this, though, I always end up holding back things that I want to say. It's when my introverted personality comes out. Sure, I consider myself intelligent, but there's something about being in a room full of strangers that makes me reticent to speak up, unless I get comfortable enough to say something.  It was interesting to hear the topic discussed and I appreciated what most everyone had to say, but afterwards I met up with my friend, Eric, who

What a busy weekend and I got to spend most of it with an amazing person! Breakfast, included. You know those kinds of people that you miss when they're not around? That's what's happening. It's a good feeling. And to know it's mutual feels pretty good, too. I watched "Where the Wild Things Are" again recently. I had seen it in the theater when it first came out in 2009. I remember, it was the first time I got together with an old Bull Moose co-worker (John) in about 8 years, because he had started dating my great friend, Vanessa. So, the three of us went to see because it was the consensus that we all enjoyed the book immensely as kids. Now, I knew what to expect going to see a feature-length film of a children's book that only has 16 sentences in the entire book. There was going to be a lot added and many liberties taken to the story to make it something worth sitting for one hour and forty-seven minutes. It's directed by Spike Jonze (good th

This week was difficult for me. It's hard to see my students struggle when I'm not in the classroom, but also a testament to the relationship I have built with them in just the couple of months I've been with them. I always feel like the week starts off well, but still a bit shaky, and then by Wednesday the ship is running smoothly. This week I wasn't in my classroom Thursday and Friday and both days were tough for my students, which then makes me feel guilty for not being there. You see, I already feel bad for the situation they've been through this year- having a teacher leave them in mid-October and then having substitutes until I showed up at the end of November. They were like the kids from a broken home, having been kicked around a bit and left behind. They never had a chance to establish relationships with a consistent adult during the most crucial time of the year (the beginning), so when I showed up, again, they were getting used to someone new, testing gro

This past Monday I went with a colleague to see the documentary "Chasing Ice" at SPACE Gallery. I found a link on their Facebook page that allowed you to get a free ticket, and being the frugal person that I am, I immediately signed up for one. We hit up Otto's Pizza (the best pizza in Portland, hands down- or hands up so you can feed yourself their delicious, uniquely topped pizzas slices). I ran into my good ol' friend Amanda, whom I haven't seen in awhile, even though we literally live down the street from each other. Running in different circles these days. I've known her since my days of working at Bull Moose (circa 1999-2001). Two interesting stories come out of that era (actually way more than that, but life-altering, there's two significant events that chartered the course of my life. 1) Amanda had a crush on me, vocalized it and I never pulled the trigger. Working with her, I thought it was "inappropriate" to date and then I felt lik